Oh Suck.

Um yeah.

Not really sure where to start here.

I'll come on out, I guess. I never like beating around the bush on anything. I lost my job yesterday. It was quite the surprise, without substantial reason. And that's all I have to say about it.

Sure, I came home and had my little breakdown. Jerry wasn't here, neither was JJ. I was surprised that it only took me a few moments to regain my composure and go pick up the baby from daycare. I'll never forget how happy I was to see him.

After telling Jerry and having our "OH MY GOD" moment, and after going back to the office to pick up my things, we both lay down on the sofa and stewed. Ok, well.... I stewed.

That was it. That was all the crying and all the stewing. That was everything.

Today, I woke with a sense of relief. It was rather strange, and I didn't pay much attention. As I moved about my day, I noticed I had more energy than usual. I don't feel quite so short with Jerry. I'm far from the verge of tears. I feel good, for the first time in a long time. I feel like myself.

Of course this worries me. Did I secretly hate my job? Is this just a coincidental mood swing? Sure I'm excited about being home with JJ for a little while, but I cannot stay home with him for very long. I will need to return to work sooner rather than later. That's just the way it is. Still, I can't help but think that maybe my job was the catalyst for my depression symptoms and was the root of my unstable emotions.

Either way, we are on the up right now and we're doing what we need to do. I'm determined to find a job that I really love and work happily ever after. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it for my sanity, my husband, and my baby. Watch and see.